The date on my wall calendar reads September 21 (the thermometer, 82 degrees), and it still seems as if we have plenty of time until the holiday season unfolds. Yet, as we all know, November and December have a way of abruptly arriving. Many of us are already making some preliminary plans for Thanksgiving, Christmas, and Hanukkah. We may even be making gift purchases here and there for our friends and family. In my family (we number a good many) we have a tradition of drawing names for a family gift exchange. This is something fun, and we keep the names we draw a secret (or at least we are supposed to). We have already drawn our names, and everyone is making his/her wish list that gets posted on-line. It occurred to me a couple of days ago that maybe we needed to add a new concept to our family holiday tradition. So, I had an idea.
I composed an email, and sent it off to each household in my family that gathers together every year for Thanksgiving and Christmas. The idea works like this: Each household (not each member of the household) donates only $5.00 to a local charity as determined by an entire family vote. In our case, we have 8 households, and so the math is easy...8 households donating $5.00 each makes a total donation of $40.00 to a local charity. Not too shabby for one group. I came up with 3 different, but of course, all deserving charities, and each household was asked to submit one vote for their charity of choice. If a tie had occurred, I would have used the tried and true method of flipping a coin to break the tie.
I told everyone that I will collect the money on or before November 1st, so that the charity we decided on will be able to have our donation by Thanksgiving Day. I believe Thanksgiving is an appropriate time to make a donation for a couple of reasons. The closer we get to Christmas, the tighter money gets, and people usually have a little more in early November. However, the most important reason for choosing Thanksgiving, is the one that should be obvious: it is a way to do something that resonates with the true meaning of the holiday.
When my family gathers together on Thanksgiving day, we always make a point during Grace to say that we are thankful for all we have, and especially for each other. Our family donation may not amount to hundreds of dollars, but it is something we can do to benefit a local charity, no matter how small the benefit. I believe most people are generous and kind, and sometimes we (present company included) just need a little nudge to help us remember to look around at those who are less fortunate.
The response from my family has been great. Everyone is very excited by the idea. I think it may even be something we will try to do a couple of times a year- with the charity that came in second place in the voting getting an Easter time donation. $5.00 is an easy amount to come up with. I believe that my husband and I probably have that much sitting in our loose change jar. I was not sure at first how to handle the situation if one household wanted to donate more than $5.00 (which of course happened). My only concern was that another household might feel obligated to up their donation, but I didn't put any restrictions on the amount. This is for a charity after all, and the greater the donation the better. So I just decided to keep any donations larger than the $5.00 amount confidential. It is not for me to decide that a donation should be kept at a minimum. If someone has had placed in his/her heart the desire to contribute more than that is an extra blessing.
I have also asked the members of my family to spread this idea around to their friends and co-workers, because if even just 10 families in this area were to do something like this it could really have an impact on our local charities. And just imagine, if in cities all across the country, families were to participate in a collection such as the one my family has now adopted. The potential difference would be amazing. Perhaps you don't gather with too many family members; maybe you have a core of friends that you get together with who could participate in a group donation. Do I sound crazy with idealism? Good, I am happy to be excited over something like this. This is an opportunity for families as a whole to make a difference, and I think it is appealing because giving as a group to a local charity feels very personal. Don't forget, though, that there are plenty of nationwide organizations who are deserving, and if your family would prefer to donate to one of them that is a great idea, too. I am partial to St. Jude Children's Research Hospital. The goal here is just to give.
Go and roll up those nickels, dimes, and quarters. Or, skip the extra trip to the coffee shop, and put aside that $5.00 for your donation. Get your family involved. It is an easy thing to do. Pass the idea around! Make a difference!
Friday, September 21, 2007
Sunday, September 16, 2007
My Disappearing Act
The morning I called my sister-in-law with questions about the South Beach Diet was the morning I had hit rock bottom with my weight. How ironic that I am using the phrase "rock bottom", implying an all-time low, when in truth my weight had hit an all-time high. Other than the times in my life when I have been pregnant, I had never weighed more. I remember crying even as I tried to speak through the phone, because I was overcome with emotion for so many reasons. I was depressed in nearly every way (and up until that phone call, trying to hide it), and I was embarrassed to be reaching out for help for something that was making me feel so vulnerable. I had finally admitted the truth to myself that I was overweight, and not just that, but also that I didn't feel well. The weight was impacting my health. I chronically felt bad. My legs ached almost all the time. They felt heavy and tired. I became winded going up the basement steps. I felt slow and awkward when I moved. I sure as hell no longer felt sexy or even attractive. And I wondered if I felt this way about myself, what did others see when they looked at me? Now, let me make this statement now for anyone reading this who may be a bigger person, and feel fine about themselves...if you are that person, and you feel good about who you are inside and out, good for you. I was a bigger person who did not feel that way, I was the complete opposite. This blog entry is not to make you feel bad about yourself in any way, it is a recording of the way I felt, and how I experienced a subsequent transformation.
I was eating pretty much out of control. That is the God's honest truth. I can remember some nights having a full dinner, and then the husband and I would sit down to watch a movie and I would make popcorn and many times follow up that with ice cream. This is painful to even admit because it reveals what an absolute pig I was making of myself. My husband can indulge sometimes because he is very active/athletic. When I realized that I weighed more than my husband, I felt that I had humiliated myself. If I were as tall as he is or taller it might not have been such a big deal that our weights were the same or even close, but I am a good 6 inches shorter than he is, and so at 5 feet 2 inches, it wasn't pretty. It doesn't take much weight on me to look dramatic. The more I ate, the bigger I became, the bigger I became the more I disappeared. Physically there was more of me to see, but my personality and who I am were disappearing into my size. I couldn't recognize myself any longer. I was not a happy person. I felt like my life was not my own. I felt that I no longer had control of my eating. Yet, who else was controlling what I put into my body? It was all me. I am also an emotional eater. I recently heard a nutritionist describe this type of eating as the "chew and stew". That's me.
So, I picked up the phone and called my sister-in-law who I knew had done the South Beach diet before and had success with it. I wanted to look better, but this time I knew I was doing it for my health as well. This made it a different kind of animal for me. In the past, when I have dieted it has been with the goal of looking better, but this time my health was taking a turn for the worst and it was frightening. I had fertility issues with our attempt at a second child, and based on that I was certain I had a condition called insulin resistance which is a pre-diabetic condition. Also, I have a family history of diabetes. I have always been proportioned whether thin or heavy, but within the past couple of years I had noticed my waist was expanding and losing definition. That is an outward sigh of insulin resistance-especially in regard towards women. I am not an expert, but this is what this type of body meant for me; certainly not all women who are built this way are insulin resistant, but it can be an indicator.
I had all sorts of preconceived notions about the South Beach Diet. Mainly, I had been a skeptic, in the past declaring that there was no way that diet could ever work for me because it just wasn't realistic that I would ever go the rest of my life without eating bread or potatoes. Well, I made those statements out of ignorance, not having an understanding of how the diet functions or what foods, once phase one was finished, I could add back into my life. My sister-in-law that Saturday morning was patient and supportive while I cried and reached out for help. She answered my questions, dispelled the myths and preconceived notions I had about South Beach, and offered ideas and recipes that would help me. She told me that once I began the diet in earnest and saw the results that my determination would be cemented. She was right.
I got a copy of the South Beach book, and read it. Part of my 2 year degree required a year of Anatomy and Physiology with a lab. I have a basic, but good idea of the subject, and so when I read the South Beach book, I really understood the metabolic concepts and physiology behind the diet. It seemed as if, for the first time in my life, I was being shown the proper way to eat. Reading the book I felt, and still do, that there-to-fore I had been eating incorrectly my entire life-especially every time I had attempted to lose weight. It use to be such an effort, and a constant struggle, and it occupied so much of my time. Now, I just eat according to the rules. I don't think about it too much. I don't have to count calories or fat, because if I am eating the right way, everything falls into place. Now, don't get me wrong, there are days when I sometimes say, "Why can't I just be like everyone else and eat what I want?" But as my mom pointed out, there are very few people who can eat like that and not have to follow a very strict exercise regimen. To that I guess I can add two more categories of people: those who are metabolically blessed, and those who just don't care about what eating in such a manner will make them look and feel like. That is important right there, what I just said, what some foods make one feel like. All those simple sugars and simple carbs made me so tired and sluggish and downright hungry all the time. If I do decide to treat (I don't say cheat because it simply isn't a nice word) myself maybe once a week to something sweet, the real deal, my body can process the food without any weight gain because I haven't been constantly overloading it with simply sugars and simple carbs. The South Beach Diet book claims that the diet will reset one's metabolism after time spent on the diet, and I am proof of that claim.
Recently I had a reason to look at my drivers license photo the other day. It was taken before I began the diet; complete with a bold faced lie about what my weight had been at the time it was taken. Once again, I was just embarrassed, and could not own up to what I really weighed. Anyway, seeing my face in the picture was a shock. I think every single pound I have shed must have been crammed into my face. It was so...BIG. If I ever need a reinforcement to stay the course I can simply whip out my drivers license. Also, I am certain, due to the way my body, and without going into too much detail, my body's natural cycles (wink, wink, you know, the womanly thing) are behaving that the insulin resistance has been resolved. I just feel so much better.
I am so grateful to my sister-in-law for all her help, advice, and pep-talks in the beginning. She was there to commiserate with me, and it was so helpful. I don't know if I have properly thanked her. If she reads this I hope she can hear my gratitude. Also, my mom has been always the rock for me. She is my biggest fan, I think. My husband has been there for me as well, complimenting me when he notices something looks nice. But by default he has had to eat a somewhat South Beach Diet and I know that has been difficult at times. I try to make sure he and the kids don't miss out on what they enjoy, because they didn't decide to follow the diet. Truly, though, dinners are much healthier for everyone. I am not done losing weight, but it doesn't seem like such a giant mountain to climb because I know that this is the way I want to eat the rest of my life, and so I will lose the weight in time.
So, it may make sense to say that "my disappearing act" is about the weight that is disappearing, but a closer look reveals the truth: Losing the weight is an act of appearance. The more weight I lose, the more of myself I can see again.
I was eating pretty much out of control. That is the God's honest truth. I can remember some nights having a full dinner, and then the husband and I would sit down to watch a movie and I would make popcorn and many times follow up that with ice cream. This is painful to even admit because it reveals what an absolute pig I was making of myself. My husband can indulge sometimes because he is very active/athletic. When I realized that I weighed more than my husband, I felt that I had humiliated myself. If I were as tall as he is or taller it might not have been such a big deal that our weights were the same or even close, but I am a good 6 inches shorter than he is, and so at 5 feet 2 inches, it wasn't pretty. It doesn't take much weight on me to look dramatic. The more I ate, the bigger I became, the bigger I became the more I disappeared. Physically there was more of me to see, but my personality and who I am were disappearing into my size. I couldn't recognize myself any longer. I was not a happy person. I felt like my life was not my own. I felt that I no longer had control of my eating. Yet, who else was controlling what I put into my body? It was all me. I am also an emotional eater. I recently heard a nutritionist describe this type of eating as the "chew and stew". That's me.
So, I picked up the phone and called my sister-in-law who I knew had done the South Beach diet before and had success with it. I wanted to look better, but this time I knew I was doing it for my health as well. This made it a different kind of animal for me. In the past, when I have dieted it has been with the goal of looking better, but this time my health was taking a turn for the worst and it was frightening. I had fertility issues with our attempt at a second child, and based on that I was certain I had a condition called insulin resistance which is a pre-diabetic condition. Also, I have a family history of diabetes. I have always been proportioned whether thin or heavy, but within the past couple of years I had noticed my waist was expanding and losing definition. That is an outward sigh of insulin resistance-especially in regard towards women. I am not an expert, but this is what this type of body meant for me; certainly not all women who are built this way are insulin resistant, but it can be an indicator.
I had all sorts of preconceived notions about the South Beach Diet. Mainly, I had been a skeptic, in the past declaring that there was no way that diet could ever work for me because it just wasn't realistic that I would ever go the rest of my life without eating bread or potatoes. Well, I made those statements out of ignorance, not having an understanding of how the diet functions or what foods, once phase one was finished, I could add back into my life. My sister-in-law that Saturday morning was patient and supportive while I cried and reached out for help. She answered my questions, dispelled the myths and preconceived notions I had about South Beach, and offered ideas and recipes that would help me. She told me that once I began the diet in earnest and saw the results that my determination would be cemented. She was right.
I got a copy of the South Beach book, and read it. Part of my 2 year degree required a year of Anatomy and Physiology with a lab. I have a basic, but good idea of the subject, and so when I read the South Beach book, I really understood the metabolic concepts and physiology behind the diet. It seemed as if, for the first time in my life, I was being shown the proper way to eat. Reading the book I felt, and still do, that there-to-fore I had been eating incorrectly my entire life-especially every time I had attempted to lose weight. It use to be such an effort, and a constant struggle, and it occupied so much of my time. Now, I just eat according to the rules. I don't think about it too much. I don't have to count calories or fat, because if I am eating the right way, everything falls into place. Now, don't get me wrong, there are days when I sometimes say, "Why can't I just be like everyone else and eat what I want?" But as my mom pointed out, there are very few people who can eat like that and not have to follow a very strict exercise regimen. To that I guess I can add two more categories of people: those who are metabolically blessed, and those who just don't care about what eating in such a manner will make them look and feel like. That is important right there, what I just said, what some foods make one feel like. All those simple sugars and simple carbs made me so tired and sluggish and downright hungry all the time. If I do decide to treat (I don't say cheat because it simply isn't a nice word) myself maybe once a week to something sweet, the real deal, my body can process the food without any weight gain because I haven't been constantly overloading it with simply sugars and simple carbs. The South Beach Diet book claims that the diet will reset one's metabolism after time spent on the diet, and I am proof of that claim.
Recently I had a reason to look at my drivers license photo the other day. It was taken before I began the diet; complete with a bold faced lie about what my weight had been at the time it was taken. Once again, I was just embarrassed, and could not own up to what I really weighed. Anyway, seeing my face in the picture was a shock. I think every single pound I have shed must have been crammed into my face. It was so...BIG. If I ever need a reinforcement to stay the course I can simply whip out my drivers license. Also, I am certain, due to the way my body, and without going into too much detail, my body's natural cycles (wink, wink, you know, the womanly thing) are behaving that the insulin resistance has been resolved. I just feel so much better.
I am so grateful to my sister-in-law for all her help, advice, and pep-talks in the beginning. She was there to commiserate with me, and it was so helpful. I don't know if I have properly thanked her. If she reads this I hope she can hear my gratitude. Also, my mom has been always the rock for me. She is my biggest fan, I think. My husband has been there for me as well, complimenting me when he notices something looks nice. But by default he has had to eat a somewhat South Beach Diet and I know that has been difficult at times. I try to make sure he and the kids don't miss out on what they enjoy, because they didn't decide to follow the diet. Truly, though, dinners are much healthier for everyone. I am not done losing weight, but it doesn't seem like such a giant mountain to climb because I know that this is the way I want to eat the rest of my life, and so I will lose the weight in time.
So, it may make sense to say that "my disappearing act" is about the weight that is disappearing, but a closer look reveals the truth: Losing the weight is an act of appearance. The more weight I lose, the more of myself I can see again.
Thursday, September 13, 2007
A word about the title of this blog, and how I did ok with setting it up.
Well, if anyone on this planet read my first blog (and truly in all likelihood only my brother and my cousin read it) then you will know that I had some anxiety and doubts about how I would do setting it up. So far, I am doing fine. I even managed to post a picture of myself. The image was squished a bit to make it fit, and I am wondering if I shorten the text that appears under it, will the image elongate some? If anybody out there has an answer to that, then please let me know. I am certain there is a ton I don't know/haven't figured out yet about customizing this site and blogging, but I suppose I'll learn in time.
Now, a little bit on why I chose "The Order of Operations" as the title for this blog...Anyone who is a math person will recognize that my title is what is used in Algebra to evaluate expressions and such (Please Excuse My Dear Aunt Sally helps us to remember Parenthesis first, then exponents, multiplication, division, addition, and subtraction). I did poorly in math all through elementary school right up until high school. When I first set off to college, I avoided math all together. Long story short, I took many, many years off from college before returning to eventually at least get my 2 year degree (when I'll ever be able to get my bachelor's remains to be seen). Before returning to obtain my Associate of Science I braced myself for the fact that I would have to take lots of math. I told myself there was nothing to be afraid of and the only person that would ever hold me back would only be myself. I assured myself that I could do the math this time around. I began at the most rudimentary of levels (in fact the class didn't even count as a credit), because I told myself if I was going to really learn math this time I had to start at the beginning. So, it was very humbling to initially be doing the same things that 5th graders were doing; who am I kidding, 2nd graders. But it paid off. I sailed through that (it was self-paced). I went on to a high school equivalent algebra class (that once again didn't even count as a credit, but that I needed all the same). I got an A. Then, the real challenge, College Algebra. I got an A in that, too! Then, Statistics, that rogue math course that it is...I got an A, also. Then college Pre-Calc. And I got another A. By-the-time I completed the college algebra course I had bought myself a t-shirt that declared for all the world to see that I am a "Math Geek". I am proud to wear it. Pre-Calc. is where I left off and some day I hope I can continue on. I don't think that my IQ grew by leaps and bounds, and really I am no Einstein (I have my fair share of dumb-ass moments). What I think happened for me is that my brain just worked differently by the time I went back to school. I also had done a tremendous amount of growing-up. I used real life experiences to help myself reason through or figure out some things. Here is the kicker, I always got nervous before each test/exam. One thing I could always do though, was remember the order of operations. They never failed me back in the beginning of Algebra, nor did they fail me in Pre-Calc. They are specific, and they offer instruction. Isn't that a handy tool for life? We all possess our own set of "Order of Operations". We should remember them when we are being faced with a challenge or when we are being tested. They are the things that tell us who we are, what we believe in, and they can help us to find our intuition. If something doesn't sit well with you, ask yourself some of the fundamental questions that you know will extract from within the answers you require. Use your "order of operations." So, in a sense, this blog will give me a medium to express myself, my thoughts, tastes, and passions. It may be that here, you can share in my order of operations.
Now, a little bit on why I chose "The Order of Operations" as the title for this blog...Anyone who is a math person will recognize that my title is what is used in Algebra to evaluate expressions and such (Please Excuse My Dear Aunt Sally helps us to remember Parenthesis first, then exponents, multiplication, division, addition, and subtraction). I did poorly in math all through elementary school right up until high school. When I first set off to college, I avoided math all together. Long story short, I took many, many years off from college before returning to eventually at least get my 2 year degree (when I'll ever be able to get my bachelor's remains to be seen). Before returning to obtain my Associate of Science I braced myself for the fact that I would have to take lots of math. I told myself there was nothing to be afraid of and the only person that would ever hold me back would only be myself. I assured myself that I could do the math this time around. I began at the most rudimentary of levels (in fact the class didn't even count as a credit), because I told myself if I was going to really learn math this time I had to start at the beginning. So, it was very humbling to initially be doing the same things that 5th graders were doing; who am I kidding, 2nd graders. But it paid off. I sailed through that (it was self-paced). I went on to a high school equivalent algebra class (that once again didn't even count as a credit, but that I needed all the same). I got an A. Then, the real challenge, College Algebra. I got an A in that, too! Then, Statistics, that rogue math course that it is...I got an A, also. Then college Pre-Calc. And I got another A. By-the-time I completed the college algebra course I had bought myself a t-shirt that declared for all the world to see that I am a "Math Geek". I am proud to wear it. Pre-Calc. is where I left off and some day I hope I can continue on. I don't think that my IQ grew by leaps and bounds, and really I am no Einstein (I have my fair share of dumb-ass moments). What I think happened for me is that my brain just worked differently by the time I went back to school. I also had done a tremendous amount of growing-up. I used real life experiences to help myself reason through or figure out some things. Here is the kicker, I always got nervous before each test/exam. One thing I could always do though, was remember the order of operations. They never failed me back in the beginning of Algebra, nor did they fail me in Pre-Calc. They are specific, and they offer instruction. Isn't that a handy tool for life? We all possess our own set of "Order of Operations". We should remember them when we are being faced with a challenge or when we are being tested. They are the things that tell us who we are, what we believe in, and they can help us to find our intuition. If something doesn't sit well with you, ask yourself some of the fundamental questions that you know will extract from within the answers you require. Use your "order of operations." So, in a sense, this blog will give me a medium to express myself, my thoughts, tastes, and passions. It may be that here, you can share in my order of operations.
getting my blogger legs
OK, so instead of getting my "sea legs" I guess I am trying to get my blogger legs. I have just about no idea what I am doing. I created this because I am considering entering the Lost Fantasy League on DarkUFO, and a blog was required. Now, however, I feel as if I am in-over-my-head. I mean I am definitley in unknown territory. So, what do I do? How do I customize my blog? I don't even know how this will look when I am done. Will anyone be reading this? If so, any tips anyone can offer will be helpful. I am going to take the plunge and post this and see what happens. Then it will probably be a series of trials and errors to figure out what I am doing? Or is this something easy, and am I making it way too difficult?
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